I Choose Faith

I promise you, storms don't last forever. I think about this phrase often. If it were still 2016 I would tell you that you are nuts if you really think the storm that my family and I were going through at the time wasn't going to last forever. But it didn't last forever. Trust me when I say, there is always going to be a rainy day, a hail storm, thunder, lightning, maybe even a tornado; but it won't last. Rain will come and go just like the sunshine does. Learning to get yourself through it is what's really important. Every day since our sons passing I have: cried, prayed, begged, hoped, and wished that something could have been different. Every day I have different unanswered questions. Every day I think about our daughter who's had to try to understand why her baby brother was taken so early and every day I think about the next baby, will they be okay? The truth is though, we can't be "stuck" in the storm. We can't be chained down. T

Don't waste your time on stupid little fights. You know the kind of fights I'm talking about too. The times you get mad because your husband didn't put the toilet seat down, or his clothes are all over the bedroom floor, or he didn't rinse off his plate and put it in the EMPTY dishwasher. I mean why do we fight about those things again? Why do we even use the energy to tell them when your upset about something so little when you can just take care of  it? Are fights really that worth it? Isn't there something bigger?  After our son was born, we both began to realize all of the stupid little things we argued about were so small compared to what we were going through, what our son was going through. There's so many bigger things. Why are we so worried about the little issues that can easily be resolved? I never did fully figure that out.  Honestly, I think it's because a lot of times people let BIG things build and build and build and then all of a sudden a tr

Do you know that feeling you get as a parent? You know exactly when something is wrong? The morning of July 15th, I had just that feeling. My heart sank, my voice shook, I was absolutely terrified. I was 31 weeks, 6 days pregnant with my first baby. A baby boy. When I was little, I dealt with a lot of health problems, had multiple tests done and was diagnosed with several different stomach disorders. I was also told that the chance of me ever getting pregnant when I got old enough, was very slim. Then I met a man that I fell head over heels for and we became pregnant. I was so excited. Maddox was a miracle. Lets face it, all babies are miracles. The day he was born I went to the Dr.'s office to get monitored and have an ultrasound because I hadn't been feeling our son move for a while and I knew that something had to be wrong. Not long after having some tests done at the Dr.'s office, I was sent to labor and delivery where the Dr. made the decision to do an emergency c-